Rest is a good, in and of itself, but is not always taken as such. We often treat rest as an afterthought; it is sometimes even associated with laziness, and characterised as a vice. While laziness may not even exist, adequate rest is a requirement. Rest will recharge you and prepare you for interaction, work, play and creation.
Rest is primarily comprised of sleep and of stillness. Sleep takes place in cycles comprised of a light sleep, deep sleep and dream state (REM). The entire cycle is usually between 1-2 hours long, and waking up in the middle will leave you groggy and grumpy. As such, you are often better off getting one full cycle less, rather than a bit more but not enough. To understand your sleep patterns, observe how long you tend to sleep until waking without an alarm (or a child, or a pet who wants attention). If you naturally sleep for 6 or 9 hours, use 3 hours as your guide number; for 4 or 8 hours, use 4 hours, and so on. When possible, schedule sleep in multiples of your guide number. If circumstances limit sleep, consider power naps (15-20 mins are most effective) and finding ways to introduce more moments of stillness in your daily routine.
Sleep’s fundamental role in physical health and its link to the subconscious psyche from which dreams emerge means that a regular pattern of insomnia or disturbed sleep may signal deeper physical or emotional disturbance requiring careful and patient investigation. Consider whether your home environment – your nest – allows you to settle, or if you need to make some changes. Consider also whether the people in this home environment may be related to this disturbance, or if you may need to make some changes here too. Work within your resources to improve these conditions. At minimum, reduce screen time before bed, incorporate gentle movement, and establish an intentional bedtime routine in which you put yourself to bed with as much care as possible.
Stillness, abundant in nature but scarce in modern society, offers valuable lessons. Consider reptiles, cold-blooded creatures who conserve precious energy through prolonged stillness, moving deliberately, and expending bursts of energy only when necessary. Humans in perpetual motion need this wisdom, in late digital capitalism when robots and artificial intelligence are competing for our jobs, when our worth is measured by our productivity, and we are told that we can sleep when we are dead. Stillness means centring and grounding oneself and finding peace in the moment. It is about slowing down, settling one’s mind and heart and simply being, allowing the natural rhythms of the breath and time to carry you, without too much effort on your part.
Sometimes it means sitting and breathing by a body of water, a park, garden or a potted plant, lighting a candle and meditating, reading a book, listening to relaxing music or just watching the world go by, instead of scrolling on your phone. Sometimes it means staying at home when everyone else has gone out, or making absolutely no plans with anyone but yourself for an afternoon, a day, a week, or more. Sometimes it means deliberately taking an extra five minutes in the bathroom, letting the baby cry itself back to sleep, or choosing to make a sandwich instead of cook. Sometimes it means staying up late, or rising early, to do what you only get the chance to do when you are alone and the house is completely quiet. Sometimes it means working from home, in your sweats or pyjamas, taking video calls without the camera on. Sometimes it means hanging up, cutting contact, or not getting in touch. Sometimes it means saying yes, or saying no, and meaning it, despite what anyone thinks. Stillness can arise through taking deliberate pauses and making transition times a regular part of how things are done. All of these, and more, are ways to make space for more stillness in your life. Use your imagination, and give yourself permission to be still.
Finally, active rest is a way of resetting the bodymind through alternative activities that satisfy emotional as well as practical needs. Physical activity, in these cases, can count as rest as it allows for emotions to be processed through the body, in what Emily and Amelia Nagoski refer to as the stress response cycle (3).
Different bodies require different amounts of rest, and unique life situations and conditions mean the amount of rest possible can vary greatly. However, the rest you need to feel ready for the world can be achieved through many different combinations of sleep, stillness, and active rest. Experiment until you find a balance that is right for you.
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Further Reading
Nagoski, Amelia and Emily (2019) Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle. London: Vermillion.